i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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