I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
