Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
