how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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