Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
