I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
