It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
