i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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