That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
