His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
