I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Buhtt sex?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your topless pictures make me question reality
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
