Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
