I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
