I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
