just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This is the high leading the old right now
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
