he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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