I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
