I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
