i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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