Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
