saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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