So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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