Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
