finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
