yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
