we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
