Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
