I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
