I just pynch a tree in the face
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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