I will die if light touches me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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