I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
