singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
