I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
