I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
