Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
