Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
