I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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