It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
