Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
