butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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