they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
