I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
How's work?
Spinning.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
