I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
