Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
