I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have demons in me.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
