So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
