Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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