every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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