This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
