the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
